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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 0:24

Yeah - as long as it doesn't get all nasty and really perverted or anything. I mean, there is something (an experience I had in my past) that was a sexual relationship with a woman I love that I'd like to discuss to perhaps understand it better...but only in a decent mature adult area would I want to do so.
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chris
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 7:59

Elfay wrote:
A restricted area works for me. Just as long it doesn't get to nasty. I belong to the TAPS18+ forum - which I rarely enter unless I want to get assulted, made fun of, mocked, ridiculed, insulted and whatever else they chose to do to you there. *shivers* at the thought of that place. *cringes* at the thought again of that place. lol
lol sounds like tradesman construction site without the temper flare up. I often think of people that act that way are impulsive and watch to much soap opera television. That or just plain trailer trash
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deb
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 17:09

Elfay wrote:
A restricted area works for me. Just as long it doesn't get to nasty. I belong to the TAPS18+ forum - which I rarely enter unless I want to get assulted, made fun of, mocked, ridiculed, insulted and whatever else they chose to do to you there. *shivers* at the thought of that place. *cringes* at the thought again of that place. lol

Sounds like a good idea to me.


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Debby
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 19:12

lol @ just plain trailer trash.
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pluralone
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Fri 5 Nov 2010 - 21:20

Jerry Springer, anyone? *snicker*

Just chiming in with support for the option of creating a restricted section of the forum where children don't have access and folks don't have to watch what they say quite so carefully. Perhaps the vent section could go into the restricted area as well..?

I'm one who very rarely uses 'strong language' (meaning swear words) except in the most casual and appropriate settings (tequila tends to foul anyone's language, hee, which is a strong argument against my ever posting here after I've had a shot or two), so when I do swear, the effect is usually exactly what I'm intending; it's a method of emphasis unlike any other, that's for sure. Most of the time, though, I prefer to find a less generic, more accurately descriptive word to convey a thought or feeling. But that's my love of the language, and I don't require others to follow suit so long as they're not being snarky or otherwise disrespectful.

Not particularly offended by strong language, although there are a few words I prefer not to hear in any context. Still, it's just good manners not to speak in a way one knows will probably offend. That's not anything even close to the same as walking on eggshells, afraid to say anything. It's just simple courtesy.

That's one of the many things I so appreciate about OSH, that we can speak freely here and know that if an issue arises it will be handled with the dignity that all of us deserve.


From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am
always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity.
-Odd Thomas
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sat 6 Nov 2010 - 21:21

*Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!*

Sorry couldn't resist doing that...my mom has a black cat named Jerry. Wink

Yeah I like what Plur said...considering I'm one to drink wine... Wink typically by the bottle...(you didn't read that last part).

I have to admit that Plur brought up something I do like about this place - unlike other places, I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells...that people will constantly read into what I write/type and disect that to death.

I have a reeeaaaal hard time really being around places like that, although I will pay a visit to them...just - if the opportunity presents itself - really let fly (like in a strong opinions section...heh heh) so that people know where I REALLY stand.
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pluralone
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sun 7 Nov 2010 - 4:25

Prien wrote:
I have to admit that Plur brought up something I do like about this place - unlike other places, I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells...that people will constantly read into what I write/type and disect that to death.

Hey. What exactly are you saying here??? What do you mean "constantly", and for that matter, what the heck do you mean by "people"? Hmm? Hmm?

Heh. I don't fake angry very convincingly, do I?


From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am
always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity.
-Odd Thomas
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mac
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sun 14 Nov 2010 - 11:45

quote: "Quite frankly I'm all for an 'adult' area...I'm rather exhausted with having to always ...how can I put it... not get into adult discussions on practically ANY spiritual forum or group.. It really kills many of the discussions I'd like to have..."


After only 24 hours as a member, I'm feeling this way, too.... Sad
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Mon 15 Nov 2010 - 19:10

*laughs at Plur*

Aw Mac...I understand... Wink
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deb
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Wed 17 Nov 2010 - 15:24

I had to laugh yesterday when I heard on Dr. Oz that cursing is actually good for you! LOL I thought about this thread when I heard that. The theory is that it's a relatively harmless way of venting angst of varying degrees. I suppose I can agree with that. Sometimes there's just nothing better than a good cuss word. Smile
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mac
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Wed 17 Nov 2010 - 17:32

I sometimes swear like a trooper (insert your preferred word) through frustration in certain situations but rarely at people and never on forums.

In ordinary life I'd blow my top if I had to constantly refrain - on this occasion dear Dr Oz has it right I think. But when working with children I had to stop - just as smokers have to stop when it's forbidden.

I'm all for an adult section for robust discussions without needing to be constantly considering others' sensibilities, but I don't see swearing, other than the very mildest sort, is acceptable. You could always use a series of asterisks to show that a swearword is intended, don't you think? Each reader could then mentally choose their favourite!

Come to think of it, strong swearwords work best verbally - I feel they're too contrived when writing.
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Debby
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Wed 17 Nov 2010 - 18:12

I agree with mac on his last statement. There are too many actions involved in typing it...you must also hit "enter.".....the spirit and spontenaity get lost. Curse words only seem passionate to me when spoken.

The passion behind the word is also lost when it's spoken too frequently. When I hear a chronic potty mouth, I think it shows the content of their being.

I don't cuss a whole lot...but when I do, folks around me know to watch out. lol
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chris
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Wed 17 Nov 2010 - 20:13

My only thoughts on this today there may be people among us trying to separate themselves from that type of language buddhists, some other faiths too dont like it. It might become a barrier to joining.
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mac
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Wed 17 Nov 2010 - 20:44

I don't see any reason that an adult section can't be instituted but without allowing bad language.

Many websites have forums for adult discussions and if children are the concern perhaps it could be made secure with a separate password?
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pluralone
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Thu 18 Nov 2010 - 4:12

Yeah, I think that's in the works, mac. It was mentioned in another thread, I'm pretty sure. I'm all for that.

My youngest (he's close to 30) and his wife cuss a lot, and they have young children -- who are, conversely, forbidden to use such language themselves. Was the same with my dad; he cussed a lot, but we'd get our mouths washed out with soap (or a few drops of Tabasco sauce, depending on his mood) if we repeated any of the words he threw around so freely. I personally don't find it a hardship to watch my language in certain settings, and have no objection to whatever is decided for keeping it reasonably clean here.

Hee.. Speaking of kids, when my oldest (who's 31) was a toddler, I bought one of those clocks that's shaped like a cat, and the eyes and tail moved back and forth with the ticking of the seconds

... and my son ran around for weeks, telling everybody about his new clock. Only problem was, he couldn't yet pronounce the "L".


From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am
always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity.
-Odd Thomas
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mac
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Thu 18 Nov 2010 - 9:50

pluralone wrote:
Yeah, I think that's in the works, mac. It was mentioned in another thread, I'm pretty sure. I'm all for that.

My youngest (he's close to 30) and his wife cuss a lot, and they have young children -- who are, conversely, forbidden to use such language themselves. Was the same with my dad; he cussed a lot, but we'd get our mouths washed out with soap (or a few drops of Tabasco sauce, depending on his mood) if we repeated any of the words he threw around so freely. I personally don't find it a hardship to watch my language in certain settings, and have no objection to whatever is decided for keeping it reasonably clean here.

Hee.. Speaking of kids, when my oldest (who's 31) was a toddler, I bought one of those clocks that's shaped like a cat, and the eyes and tail moved back and forth with the ticking of the seconds

... and my son ran around for weeks, telling everybody about his new clock. Only problem was, he couldn't yet pronounce the "L".

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Selket
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Thu 18 Nov 2010 - 13:02

i got a better idea, just let it be. Bad words are no harm. Its the people who use the words to harm others. And Words are actually quite good all the "hippies" anyway say we should rather use words then fists to fight.

And how many kids go here anyway? 2 or 3 i mean we got to draw the line somewhere
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mac
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Thu 18 Nov 2010 - 13:10

Selket wrote:
i got a better idea, just let it be. Bad words are no harm. Its the people who use the words to harm others. And Words are actually quite good all the "hippies" anyway say we should rather use words then fists to fight.

And how many kids go here anyway? 2 or 3 i mean we got to draw the line somewhere

I'm not convinced yours is a better idea....

Few website owners/operators would be comfortable with the arrangement on bad language you're suggesting.

And we shouldn't be fighting either with words or with fists....

Kids may not be a significant concern but why not try to accommodate 'em anyway?
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pluralone
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sat 20 Nov 2010 - 0:03

mac wrote:
Kids may not be a significant concern but why not try to accommodate 'em anyway?
Agreed. And for that matter, why not accommodate anyone, regardless of their age, who would rather not encounter the courser elements of language -- especially on a spirituality based site?

The overall issue is respect. I doubt that anyone at OSH is here merely because they want to see their words in print; the point is that we're a community, and our community is built on our words. In that context, why would it seem to be a burden to show some care toward how we speak with one another, not only in terms of what words we choose, but how our words will affect those who read them?


From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am
always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity.
-Odd Thomas
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indigogirl
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sat 20 Nov 2010 - 0:16

After getting a degree in early childhood education I realized that it's not the curse words themselves that cause such pause for adults its the POWER adults give the words. When my kids were little and would repeat words they heard in the community I would simply rephrase the word in what I considered a more acceptable one. I don't neccessarily agree that the public should censor what adults feel is inappropriate language for kids. I believe its the parents job to guide their kids in a way that is acceptable. However I also believe that if the community is in agreement about how to speak on a community based site I respect that as well.
thanks my two cents


indigogirl

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mac
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sat 20 Nov 2010 - 12:51

".... not only in terms of what words we choose, but how our words will affect those who read them?"

If we have to consider how our words might affect those who read them, they might also have to be so sanitised that their potential impact is lost....

On any website with discussion forums there will be contributors, or simply readers, who may be offended because an expressed views is not in line with their own views on the matter. How would one express a point but still try to be considerate of all views, seeking to avoid any possible upset?

Must we be respectful of another's personally held opinions by avoiding saying anything they might not like?

Going down such a path of self-censure is much broader than the issue of coarse or offensive language.

Respect someone's right to hold a view or opinion by all means but must we actually respect the view or opinion itself?
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indigogirl
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sat 20 Nov 2010 - 16:30

I really go back and forth about how to proceed with things like this. On one hand everyone has the right to speak their mind. It's up to the listener to decide if it's for them or not. If the listener does not like or agree then it's their responsibility to deal with their own feelings and emotions. its not the speakers problem if the listener does not like what is being said, however I do think being somewhat compassionate about others in important too.
On the subject of language. I have the habit of taking the lords name in vein, my oldest daughter is triggered every time. She has this idea that it's inappropriate and it really riles her up. I try to say something different when she's around but it slips out. We've gone rounds about this. Finally I told her, I'd try but to me its not that big of a deal and if she continues to have issues with it then walk awake, if she can't well continue to discuss it but I may not ever brake the habit. I just don't give this type of language power that others do.


indigogirl

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mac
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sat 20 Nov 2010 - 16:58

I liked your well-reasoned points but in this paragraph the two issues you mention seem almost mutually exclusive....

" If the listener does not like or agree then it's their responsibility to deal with their own feelings and emotions. its not the speakers problem if the listener does not like what is being said, however I do think being somewhat compassionate about others is important too."

Additionally it would be very easy for one individual to complain that another is not being 'respectful' and effectively silence that writer. Sad
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indigogirl
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PostSubject: Re: RESPECT and LANGUAGE USED    Sat 20 Nov 2010 - 18:39

I know what your saying. I go back and forth on this subject I see both sides. Smile


indigogirl

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